DOOM (AVOID)

Let’s face it; video games like Doom, Half-Life, Halo and Resident Evil owe most of their creativity to James Cameron’s masterpiece of sci-fi action, Aliens. The storylines follow a predictably techno-phobic route: Scientists either discover or create something that results in a new life form; it gets loose in an isolated facility and slaughters everyone. Enter the crack team of commandos, who are sent in to find out what happened and eliminate the threat.

Since most video games are about action and atmosphere (as opposed to plot and character) the concept works pretty well. When it comes to adapting this concept into a big budget motion picture, however, it is inevitable that you will be compared to one of the best science fiction films ever made. As a result, you had better have something new up your sleeve. Doom, unfortunately, doesn’t. Screenwriters David Callaham and Wesley Strick have basically thrown Aliens, Predator and Dawn Of The Dead in a blender and written something a lot less exciting than any of those films.

The story is pretty much what you’d expect: forty five minutes of skulking around in the dark having things like hysterical lab animals and dangling corpses jump out at you before the hard-to-see action breaks out and insidious corporate secrets are revealed. The “Marines” are then picked off one by one until only the hero is left to face off against the big bad enemy.

There is an interesting final act reversal -- where jarhead Sarge (Duane "The Rock" Johnson) decides to order his own version of Mai Lai -- which gives the film a moment of unexpected weight but it’s quickly discarded for yet another mano y mano showdown between testosterone-laden alpha males.

Doom takes its gamer origins seriously… a bit too seriously. The filmmakers spend so much time recreating the look and feel of playing the game that they’ve forgotten to deliver a real movie experience. That isn’t to say there isn’t some fun to be had. Once the bullets start flying, Doom elicits some of the same action thrills generated by the game, including a four-minute first person shooter sequence that puts you behind the gun and into the fray. The narrative set up for this is a clever take on the God-mode cheat that exists in most games. Unfortunately, the overall effect is very much like sitting next to your buddy, looking over his shoulder while he plays Doom on his Playstation. Okay to watch but more fun to participate.

Director Andrzej Bartkowiak joins the elite ranks of filmmakers who should have remained cinematographers. He brings nothing new or interesting to the film and substitutes darkness for atmosphere and close ups for character development. Particularly frustrating is his inability to lay out a coherent landscape or action sequence. For much of the film you struggle to figure out exactly where you are and who’s shooting at whom.

As Sarge, The Rock is still looking for a breakout hit like The Terminator to launch him into Hollywood’s stratosphere. It’s a shame really, because as an actor, the former wrestler has more presence and charm than Schwarzenegger ever did. What he doesn’t have is a director like James Cameron who can turn his semi-ironic machismo into something iconic.

Karl Urban (Eomer in The Lord of the Rings) plays the film’s brooding hero-with-few words. He’s adequate to the task but hardly stands out. Rosamund Pike as Urban's sister and scientist is simply awful, barely able to scream on cue. The rest of the cast is racially integrated and destined for a body bag. You have the wisecracking black dude, the silent but dependable big guy and the quickly-dead Asian guy.

The translation of video games to the big screen has yet to be successful. Doom is no exception. It tries hard to be scary and gory but more often than not comes across simply as dopey. Go back to your X-Box. You’ll have a better time.